R.E.S.P.E.C.T
(An anthem covered by the legendary Aretha Franklin)
There’s nothing like ANZAC Day and an ANZAC service to remind us about the importance of respect. I was so proud of our students during the school ceremony this year. They showed an intrinsic understanding of the occasion through their silence, whole body listening and attention, while being provided with outstanding role models, thanks to our student councillors and class wreath bearers and Mr Jones, who lends an authenticity to the service.
Having been brought up with a father who served in the SAS and then the Australian Federal Police, respect, manners and tradition are attributes that have been instilled in me from a young age. (As well as a love of football and fishing!) I have that same passion and expectation with our students here at South Padbury, as do all the staff. There is a constant focus on words and actions that demonstrate respect, which of course fits nicely with our school moral purpose and our ‘be’ statements. We are teaching our students to look adults in the eye, say hello as they walk past, use please, thank you and excuse me, speak in full sentences when asking for something, wait until adults stop speaking before interrupting, remove hats when entering a building, understand that shrugging your shoulders is not an answer, and sitting in a circle with friends while eating lunch encourages conversation and inclusion, just to name on a few.
In keeping with this theme, Mr Simmonds has a lovely tradition of selecting Year 5 students to be school flag bearers. They start their day raising the school’s flags in the morning, and lowering them after school, all while wearing traditional white gloves. They have been taught how to respectfully handle and fold the flags and the importance of this process.
Our Year 6 students all have leadership roles that require them to undertake tasks that may not directly benefit themselves, are often selfless, but make a difference to staff, school, others or the environment.
Many year levels include a ‘buddy’ class experience in their school week, where older students do activities with or read to younger students, supporting their literacy development, confidence and social skills.
These types of altruistic school activities, choosing to help someone without expecting any reward, are inherently linked to building respect. And as they are repeated over and over again during the year, and from year to year, there are constant opportunities for us to model respectful helping, acknowledge effort, reflect with children on how helping others makes them feel, and embed helping into routines, fostering an understanding that helping is not just for special moments.
Children develop altruism (helping others) and respect through every day experiences at home and at school. Small, consistent actions by adults, and an expectation that respect is given to others, make a powerful difference for our kids.
I urge families to consider reflecting on the words and actions of children in their care and consider some family conversations about respect and expectations. The earlier these discussions are had, the easier it will be when they are 15 years old and in amongst hormones, decide they are not going to listen to a word you say!
Some of the ideas below may help support the building of respect at home for families interested:
Model Respectful Behaviour: Children learn most by watching adults.Speak kindly, even during disagreements, use polite language (please, thank you, sorry), show care for others without expecting praise.
Encourage Helping Without Rewards: Helping should come from care, not prizes, avoid paying or rewarding children for helping, acknowledge the effort instead.
Talk About Feelings: Understanding emotions builds empathy and respect, ask: “How do you think they felt?”, talk about feelings in books, TV shows, and daily life, name your own feelings calmly.
Give Children Responsibility: Helping builds belonging and confidence,give age?appropriate household jobs, rotate tasks so everyone contributes, thank children for trying, not for doing it perfectly. Don’t do a task for your child if they can do it for themselves (carrying school bags/water bottles/ unpacking their school bag)
Support Problem?Solving: Guide children instead of fixing problems for them, ask: “What could you do to help?”, teach children to check first: “Would you like help?”
Use Mistakes as Learning Moments: Respect grows through reflection.
South Padbury PS has a strong commitment to our moral purpose ‘be the change’ in that we want to be the difference in someone’s day. We want people to feel better having seen, worked with, spoken to or watched our students interact respectfully and with kindness. There is nothing more important than treating others the way you want to be treated, the ultimate form of respect.
We know we are well on our way to achieving this, as our ANZAC ceremony special guest Mr Jeffery Edwick told me how impressed he was with our students during the service and afterwards in the classroom conversations he had with them while he was here. To receive praise from someone of his era, who has fought in war and been part of the disciplined and respected armed forces, is an honour for the school and the community.
If necessary, please consider what you are accepting as ‘ok’, respectful or disrespectful behaviour from your children, and how you are modelling respect for them with your words and actions. If you feel respect is lacking, start with small changes and start early.